He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
