she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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