I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We're too hungover to prance.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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