Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
