I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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