its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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