The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Terrible idea I love it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
