why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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