Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
