Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
