Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
4 words: hood of his car
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
