i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
