you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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