sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
