Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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