I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
