You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
