I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
