you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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