my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just gift wrapped bread.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
