i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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