What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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