so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
