I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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