i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
