I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize