He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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