i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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