Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
