can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
