haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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