I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
