Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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