The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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