I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
