he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
