My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
