my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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