real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
