I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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