I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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