Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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