if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
