ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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