i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
