bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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