then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
