I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
