she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
