she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
this is an emotional support booty call
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
