I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
