Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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