you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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