Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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