You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
