That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the day after is always just damage control
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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