oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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