So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
