I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
