i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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