Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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