Pants 0. Shit 1.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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