There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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