can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
