he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
