ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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